By Brian M. Sammons
Monsters. Director: Gareth Edwards. Starring: Scoot McNairy, Whitney Able.
Hey, a Lovecraftian film at the theater that’s getting a bunch of good buzz, when did that happen? Did my Yithian mind jump ahead in time again and is del Toro’s At The Mountains of Madness now out at the show? No, it’s still 2010 (at least, as of this writing) so that can’t be it. Wait, it’s the current teeny tiny indie flick that’s got all the tongues wagging. That Little Movie That Could (maybe) is Monsters. If you’ve heard about this little movie at all, then you probably heard that it was made for a pittance, but looks as good as any Hollywood big budget movie today, and no one knows how writer/director Gareth Edwards did it. While that is undeniably true, good looks can only get you so far, even in Hollywood. Well, maybe not Hollywood. Anyway, unless the story, acting and direction are good, all the cool special effects in the world can’t save a film. The three Star Wars prequels taught me that, but did the makers of this film learn that lesson? Let’s find out.
I’m going to get this out of the way at the start: this film does have a slight nod to dear old HPL in the form of the titular critters, but that’s as far as the Lovecraftian goodness goes. How these beasties came to be here is thanks to a satellite that crashed on the U.S./Mexican border. Little did anyone know that the satellite had some microbes hitching a ride on it, but the tiny space bugs didn’t stay little for long. Soon, tentacled titans have created a no man’s land between the United States and Mexico and so begins this film’s “subtle” message on current border and immigration problems. And yes, those are sarcastic quotation marks. Granted, the message isn’t as hammered into your face as the last couple of George Romero zombie flicks, but when the movie that best tackles this hot button topic this year is the silly, splatstick, grindhouse-inspired Machete, and not your “high-minded” message movie (Sorry, I’ll stop that now), then you have failed.
Okay, the message is heavy-handed, but is the rest of the movie good? Well, the monsters are really neat and they are used effectively. What could be Cthulhu’s cousins are at first seen only partially, at night, cloaked in darkness, or through grainy, green night-vision. Much like in Jaws, this builds both dread and anticipation for the big reveal. When that moment comes, it is a good payoff, a true testament to technical wizardry, but again, is that enough to make a good movie?
Sadly, the answer to this is “No”. This flick moves at a glacial pace and I could forgive a film that if it used that time to build up and flesh out the characters, but this one doesn’t. The two stars of this show are as one-dimensional and thoroughly annoying at the end of this movie as they are at the start of it. There’s the jaded photojournalist, whose only care in the world is to get great shots of the monsters to make the big bucks. He is tapped by his boss to return the rich man’s wayward daughter to him in the U.S., as she just so happens to be in the same area. Both of these characters are unlikable at the start of the movie and remain that way to the end. Sure, Mr. Cynical Reporter has the mandatory change of heart upon seeing the human side of the equation, but it feels forced and unbelievable, as does the obligatory romantic tension between the two. It’s all part of the same paint-by-numbers, “Let’s Make Movies” playbook this movie follows from start to finish.
If you are expecting an action-oriented, sci-fi monster movie – you know, like you might expect from a movie called “Monsters” – then you will be disappointed. This film is a slow-moving travelogue of Mexico, starring two characters you could care less about that only very occasionally bump into some cool-looking, Cthulhu-oid creatures. If that sounds like your idea of a good time, then hey, you might really dig this flick. However, if that sounds like a snoozefest, then I would say you are correct and that you should skip this one.
Final Verdict: This movie isn’t the slightest bit Lovecraftian, despite some cool creatures. It has none of HPL’s cosmic terror, creeping dread, or an ounce of his creativity. It desperately wants to be a sci-fi flick with a message, like District 9. And it does have a message (that it clobbers you over the head with), but it forgets the basics of good movie-making, like pacing, character development, and an interesting plot. Don’t believe the hype on this one. Yeah, it has neat-o special effects done on a budget, but other than that, Monsters has nothing new to offer.